Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
