When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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