No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
True strength comes from lack of pants
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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