I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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