Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
