but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
