i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
