That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The beer is more important than you right now.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
