If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
