You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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