Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
