He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
