talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
PANTIES FOUND
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