so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
