so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
