also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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