do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
