I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
