I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
