so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
