i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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