I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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