therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
