so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
