I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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