you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
