You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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