do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
