That's intense
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
