we made out on top of his cat.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
