Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
