and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
