I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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