Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
