Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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