using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
