This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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