Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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