i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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