Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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