her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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