just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
