i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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