Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
