My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As shirtless as possible
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
