you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
