OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
