thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
