My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
