Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
