obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
